finds but riddling shrift.
know my heart’s dear love is set On the fair daughter of rich Capulet.
As mine on hers, so hers is set on mine, And all combined, save what thou must combine
By holy marriage.
When and where and how We met, we wooed and made exchange of vow, I’ll tell thee as we pass, but this I pray: That thou consent to marry us today.
Holy Saint Francis, what a change is here!
Is Rosaline, whom thou didst love so dear, So soon forsaken?
Young men’s love then lies Not truly in their hearts, but in their eyes.
The sun not yet thy sighs from heaven clears, Thy old groans ring yet in my ancient ears.
Lo, here upon thy cheek the stain doth sit Of an old tear that is not washed off yet.
If e'er thou wast thyself and these woes thine, Thou and these woes were all for Rosaline.
And art thou changed?
Pronounce this sentence
then: Women may fall when there’s no strength in men.
Thou chid’st me oft for loving
For doting, not for loving, pupil mine.
And badest me bury love.
Not in a grave, To lay one in, another out to have.
I pray thee, chide not.
The other did not so.
Oh, she knew well Thy love did read by rote, that could not spell.
But come, young waverer, come, go with me, In one respect I’ll thy assistant
be, For this alliance
may so happy prove To turn your households' rancor to pure love.
Oh, let us hence.
I stand on sudden haste.
Wisely and slow.
that run fast.
Where the devil should this Romeo be?
Came he not home tonight?
Not to his father’s.
I spoke with his man.
Why, that same pale hard-hearted wench, that Rosaline, Torments him so, that he will sure run mad.
Tybalt, the kinsman to old Capulet, Hath sent a letter to his father’s house.
A challenge, on my life.
Romeo will answer it.
Any man that can write may answer a letter.
Nay, he will answer the letter’s master, how he dares, being dared.
Alas, poor Romeo!
And is he a man to encounter
Why, what is Tybalt?
Without his roe, like a dried herring.
O flesh, flesh, how art thou fishified!
Now is he for the numbers that Petrarch flowed in.
to you both.
did I give you?
The slip, sir, the slip.
Can you not conceive?
Nay, I am the very pink of courtesy.
I serve as good a man as you.
You know not what you do.
What, art thou drawn among these heartless hinds?
Come between us, good Benvolio.
My wits faints.
Switch and spurs, switch
and spurs, or I’ll cry a match.
Nay, if our wits run the wild-goose chase, I am done, for thou hast more of the wild-goose in one of thy wits than, I am sure, I have in my whole five.
Was I with you there for the goose?
Thou wast never with me for anything when thou wast not there for the goose.
I will bite thee by the ear for that jest.
Nay, good goose, bite not.
Thy wit is a very bitter sweeting.
It is a most sharp sauce.
And is it not well served into a sweet goose?
Oh, here’s a wit of cheveril, that stretches from an inch narrow to an ell broad!
I stretch it out for that word “broad,” which, added to the goose, proves thee far and wide a broad goose.
Why, is not this better now than groaning for love?
Now art thou sociable.
Now art thou Romeo.
Thou wouldst else have made thy tale large.
Oh, thou art deceived.
I would have made it short, for I was come to the whole depth of my tale, and meant, indeed, to occupy the argument
Two, two—a shirt and a smock.
My fan, Peter.
God ye good morrow, gentlemen.
God ye good e'en, fair gentlewoman.
Is it good e'en?
Tis no less, I tell you, for the bawdy hand of the dial is now upon the prick of noon.
Out upon you!
What a man are you?
One, gentlewoman, that God hath made, himself to mar.
By my troth, it is well said.
For himself to mar,” quoth he?
Gentlemen, can any of you tell me where I may find the young Romeo?
I can tell you, but young Romeo will be older when you have found him than he was when you sought him.
I am the youngest of that name, for fault of a worse.
You say well.
Yea, is the worst well?
Very well took, i' faith, wisely, wisely.
She will indite him to some supper.
What hast thou found?
Romeo, will you come to your father’s?
We’ll to dinner, thither.
I will follow you.
A gentleman, Nurse, that loves to hear himself talk, and will speak more in a minute than he will stand to in a month.
An he speak any thing against me, I’ll take him down, an he were lustier than he is, and twenty such Jacks.
And if I cannot, I’ll find those that shall.
I am none of his flirt-gills.
I am none of his skains-mates.
I saw no man use you at his pleasure.
If I had, my weapon
should quickly have been out, I warrant
I dare draw as soon as another man if I see occasion in a good quarrel and the law on my side.
Now, afore God, I am so vexed that every part about me quivers.
me to thy lady and mistress.
I protest unto thee— Good heart, and i' faith, I will tell her as much.
Lord, Lord, she will be a joyful
What wilt thou tell her, Nurse?
Thou dost not mark me.
And there she shall at Friar Lawrence' cell Be shrived and married.
And stay, good Nurse.
Behind the abbey wall Within this hour my man shall be with thee And bring thee cords made like a tackled stair, Which to the high top-gallant of my joy Must be my convoy in the secret night.
Be trusty, and I’ll quit thy pains.
Commend me to thy mistress.
Now God in heaven bless thee!
Hark you, sir.
A jumbled confession
can only receive a jumbled absolution.
I love rich Capulet’s daughter.
We’re bound to each other in every possible way, except we need you to marry us.
I’ll tell you more later about when and where we met, how we fell in love, and how we exchanged promises, but now I’m begging you: please, agree to marry us today.
Holy Saint Francis, this is a drastic
Have you given up so quickly on Rosaline, whom you loved so much?
Then young men love with their eyes, not with their hearts.
The groans you used to make are still ringing in my old ears.
There’s still a stain on your cheek from an old tear that hasn’t been washed off yet.
If you were ever yourself, and this sadness
was yours, you and your sadness
were all for Rosaline.
And now you’ve changed?
Then repeat this after me: you can’t expect women to be faithful
when men are so unreliable.
You scolded me often for loving
I scolded you for obsessing about her, not for loving
her, my student.
And you told me to bury my love.
I didn’t tell you to get rid of one love and replace
her with another.
Please, I beg you, don’t scold me.
The other girl did not love me.
Oh, she knew very well that you were acting
like you were in love without really knowing
what love means.
But come on, inconsistent
young man, come with me.
Let’s get out of here.
I’m in a rush.
Those who rush stumble
Where the devil can Romeo be?
Didn’t he come home last night?
Not to his father’s house.
I asked a servant.
That fair-skinned, hard-hearted hussy, Rosaline is going to torment
him until he goes insane.
Tybalt, old Capulet’s nephew, has sent a letter to Romeo’s father’s house.
I bet it’s a challenge.
Romeo will answer the challenge.
Any man who knows how to write can answer a letter.
No, Romeo will respond
to the letter’s writer, telling him whether he accepts the challenge.
Oh, poor Romeo!
Is he man enough at this point to face off with Tybalt?
Why, what’s Tybalt’s story?
He knows what?
He looks skinny, like a dried herring
without its eggs, and he hasn’t got his girl.
O flesh, flesh, you’ve turned pale and weak like a fish.
Now he’s ready for
Good morning to you both.
What do you mean I faked you out?
You gave us the slip, sir, the slip.
Can’t you understand what I’m saying?
is as good as yours.
But he’s not better than mine.
Gregory, remember how to slash.
Come break this up, Benvolio.
I’m losing this duel of wits.
Keep going, keep going, or I’ll declare myself the winner.
You have more wild goose in one of your jokes than I have in five of mine.
Was I even close to you in the chase for the goose?
You were never with me for anything if you weren’t there for the goose.
I’ll bite you on the ear for that joke.
No, good goose, don’t bite me.
Your joke is a very bitter apple.
Your humor is a spicy sauce.
Then isn’t it just the right dish for a sweet goose?
Oh, that’s a joke made out of leather that spreads itself thin, from the width of an inch to as fat as a yard.
I stretch my joke for that word “fat.” If you add that word to the word “goose,” it shows that you are a fat goose.
Why, isn’t all this joking better than groaning about love?
Now you’re sociable.
Now you’re Romeo.
Oh, you’re wrong.
I would have made it short.
I had come to the deepest part of my tale, and I planned to say nothing more on the topic.
Here’s something good.
There’s two—a man and a woman.
I’m at your service.
Give me my fan, Peter.
Good morning, gentlemen.
Good afternoon, fair lady.
Is it now afternoon?
It’s not earlier than that, I tell you.
The Get out of here!
What kind of man are you?
I’m a man, my lady, that God has made for himself to ruin.
I swear, you speak the truth.
For himself to ruin,” he says.
Gentlemen, can any of you tell me where I can find young Romeo?
I can tell you, but young Romeo will be older when you find him than he was when you started looking for him.
I am the youngest man by that name, because there is no one younger, or worse.
You speak well.
Is the worst well?
Very well taken, I believe, very wise.
She will A pimp!
I’ve found it out.
What have you found out?
Romeo, are you going to your father’s for lunch?
Let’s go there.
I’ll follow after you.
He says more in one minute than he does in a whole month.
If he says anything against me, I’ll humble
him, even if he were stronger than he is—and twenty punks like him.
If I can’t do it myself, I’ll find someone who can.
That dirty rat!
I’m not one of his sluts.
I’m not one of his punk friends who carries a knife.
I didn’t see anybody use you for kicks.
If I had seen something like that, I would have quickly pulled out my weapon.
Believe me, I’ll draw my sword as quick as any other man if I see a fight starting and the law is on my side.
Now, I swear, I’m so angry that I’m shaking all over.
Nurse, give my regards to to your lady.
I swear to you— You have a good heart, and believe me, I’ll tell her that.
Lord, Lord, she’ll be a happy woman.
What are you going to tell her, Nurse?
You’re not paying attention to me.
At Friar Lawrence’s cell she can make confession
and be married.
Wait good Nurse.
Within an hour, one of my men will come to you behind the abbey wall and give you a rope ladder.
Be honest and helpful, and I’ll repay you for your efforts.
Sing my praises to your mistress.
May God in heaven bless you.
Now please listen, sir.